About

becky-beckam-picture

Hi there…Welcome to Domestic Abuse Survivor & Friend…I’m glad that your here….I do however hope you or anyone you know or love can not relate  hope and never need a Hotline to call for help of any kind…but if you do or see someone that does I hope I have the link to the help you are needing…I am not a Doctor or an Expert…I am a woman who survived Domestic Abuse…who want’s to heal from Domestic Abuse and want’s you to heal to from whatever situation causes you pain and needs healing…so that is why I have National Hotlines for 100’s of different situations…and if you and your family are anything like us you may want more than one  Hotline Resource…I am telling you bit’s of my experience to let you know the depths of abuse I have survived…and to possibly tell you something that may help you or someone you love or know survive to…

I have survived Domestic Abuse at such a extreme level that I am really lucky to be alive….I will never have contact with him again but I am still married…Not only did he almost kill me a few times he stole everything I owned including all my money…I do not have the money for an Attorney to get a divorce and civil suit…Legal Aid say’s they will not…just my VPO…not the 126 Violations of the VPO…not my divorce and civil suit…they told me they only take cases at this time to get women out of immediate danger….I was granted a “Lifetime VPO”…after the judge heard the details he looked at the Bailiff and said “Now That’s Abuse”…but I am still married to him legally….I really don’t know what to do about it since I don’t have any money… I’m on disability thankfully… I have PTSD and Chronic Panic Disorder and can have a seizure or an accident if I get scared…well that’s to embarrassing to do in public….so I don’t get out much to make much extra money for an Attorney at this point….so to man who daydreams about killing me and would tell me about how it would happen…and a few nights when he was drunk he almost succeeded…I am truly lucky to be alive…I do not want anyone…man…woman…or child to go through what I did so I want to be here for you if you or anyone you know or love needs help with Hotline Numbers all around the country and one day Globally….my main focus is domestic abuse because that is what I went through… so I escaped  a few times…I was saved a few times by being on the phone and the person I was talking to could hear him and called the police so I was saved and didn’t escape…and there were times that he would get mad I just left like most people do when they are in an argument with their husband..one time I escaped and I barely got out he caught me by my night shirt…somehow I got out of my shirt and had to run down a busy street naked till I got to a office where they called an ambulance…I don’t know how long he held me hostage…I had no memory for three months but I survived…He was put in prison for three years for kidnapping me and other things…after he got out he started calling around drunk trying to find me which is when I got a body guard…a year and a half later his son my stepson committed suicide… It  was so painful to me that I knew my husband could hardly function…I know…SO…still don’t talk to him…right….but I fell in love with him when I was 16….. when I was 21 he slept with my cousin and we broke up….he moved to California…married and I married…Our paths crossed when I was  50 and we got married….I lost some of my children for years and some of my children still have not come back into my life….I lost my brother’s….my aunt….my cousins….most of my friends….my dog’s….my career….my car’s….my home….every single thing I owned that was in my home….seriously everything in my home….light fixtures…my air conditioner….dishes….cookware….computers….TV’s….my cloths….chiminea’s….my grill….water fountains….paintings….seriously everything….I could keep listing the things he stole….but that would take me all night….I know you understand….and I am so sorry that you do understand because of how deeply it hurts and how scared you to have been during the episodes where you were not sure you would make it out alive….

The Victims Advocate from my local police department literally saved my life insisting that I go to the Domestic Violence Shelter ~ Safe House until he was put in prison….I lived there for 4 months and during that time he violated the VPO 126 times….Living at the Safe House was the best thing in the world….I learned that most of us survivors of domestic violence have lost almost everyone in their lives….which is so horrible because of how much we need the people we love next to us….which was not the case for me…tragic seriously as you know as well as me….I lost most of my loved ones because I took him back so many times….and they must have lost so much respect for me for taking him back a hundred times….even after he kidnapped me….almost killed me and went to prison for it….yep….my step son committed suicide when he got out of prison and this is when I talked to him I am still embarrassed to tell you….but it is the truth….which is when he got serious about trying to kill me and stole every single thing I owned….

I am so glad to tell you that I will never even talk to him again….I finally love myself enough that I  will not allow anyone to even be around me who abuses me in anyway….seriously…

To escape I only had a brief moment where I could run for my life to safety….since it happened a few time I know that the moment may be in one hour….or one week….and that I had to try my best to stay calm enough to think….try and calm him down…looking for the brief chance I had to run as fast as I could to save my life….once he almost caught me and tore off my t-shirt and I had to run like a track star naked down a very busy expressway for help….