Taking Care Of Me Was Not As Easy As 1..2..3…But Taking Care Of Me Was The First Place I Had To Start To Begin Healing

ill-do-what-is-best-for-me

Taking care of myself is so important for me because I want to heal and I know that I absolutely have to put me at the top of my list as the most important thing I take care of everyday….I get embarrassed to say it out load that it took me months of terror to escape and not allow myself to be treated the way I was…something is seriously wrong with me that I ever talked to him again…after he held me hostage and almost killed me a few years earlier…the state put him in prison for kidnapping me…I spoke to him after he got out of prison when his son my stepson committed suicide …but I did…

during times of abuse when I have not  taken care of myself I know that I was literally trying to survive…I had to be aware of my surroundings at all times…because frequently he would hit me in the head without any warning….absolutely out of the blue….sucker punched…is how I have referred to his physical attacks…attacked in my sleep…or my head slammed into the console of the car without warning….so I realized that I had to be aware of my surroundings at all times….I did not realize that I was so distracted that I was not able to take care of myself at all really…I did take a bath or shower every single day…and I put on make-up but that is seriously just about the extent of me taking care of me….thankfully my bathroom was in my bedroom or I would not have been able to even bathe…because every time I did venture out of my bedroom I was attacked by a man who acted like an angry great white shark and I would be hurt I would try and stay in my room with a shut door between us…

I knew I was hurt deeply at an emotional level all of the time…and hurt physically 1/2 of the time… I knew I needed to get to a Doctor as fast as possible…taking baths and taking my medicine is good….but y’all that is the absolute minimum a woman can do in a day to take care of herself… isn’t it?….even knowing and wanting to take care of myself it still took quite a few months before that was possible…as a matter of fact it became so much worse that I felt like I was living in the “Twilight Zone”…by the time I did get to the Safe House I had been so distracted having to be aware of my surroundings so I could protect myself that I had to seriously think about what I needed to do to take care of myself….first of all I needed to take care of myself by thinking positive thoughts about my self…I also had to change my thinking  from the negative thought patterns I had gotten stuck in of fear and resentment to positive thoughts about things I am creating like my Healing Online Store and this Domestic Abuse Survivor Website… Changing thought patterns from negative thoughts to positive thoughts does take time…And for me anyway over and over and over through out the day…It is so worth it for me because I find I am much happier thinking about positive goals….I have been able to do it with a few different thought patterns so I know I can do it…Knowing I can do it is also exciting and builds my self esteem….Making a Vision Board and placing affirmations around my house let’s me see what I am creating and claiming and makes it appear quicker…oh…I even give thanks for it manifesting in my life knowing it is coming really fast….I also started taking action on adding healthy things to my day like nourishing food…water…exercise…healing baths and a good nights rest…One of the most important things I am doing is surrounding myself with people who build me up with their word…And not allowing people who belittle me…put me down…or abuse me in anyway to even be around me…It is a process that takes me a bit of time to do…and I am enjoying every single second of this process and I am so relieved that I am living a safe… happy…loving…life again.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s